Who says you have to achieve certain things at a certain age?
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
When I was in middle school, I imagined that at 25 years old I would be living on my own in an apartment in a bigger city than my hometown and living the fun life that shows like Friends depicted. Then I figured that by age 28, I would get married and start having kids. Today, I just turned 28 about a week ago. I still live in my hometown (was planning to move before the COVID-19 pandemic), graduated from university five years ago, and am someone who doesn’t plan on getting married anytime soon.
As much as we want our lives to go a certain way, we’re not fully in control of what life brings.
For the longest time, I thought I needed to follow a timeline that I had set for myself when I was younger because I was basing my timeline on what the social clock said should be achieved when I got into my 20s. As my early 20s came and went, I realized the social clock that our society expects us to live by doesn’t work for everyone as we all face unique challenges in our lives.
For example, graduating from university or college is one of those milestones that is expected to be done in our 20s, according to the social clock. A huge chunk of the milestones on the social clock is expected to be done in our 20s. It’s no wonder that many people tend to feel lost in their 20s because of these expectations. You can learn more about the social clock in this blog post by Dr. Jan Weiner.
Some expectations the social clock says we should accomplish in our 20s include:
- graduate from university/college,
- find a life-long romantic partner,
- settle down with that romantic partner,
- have kids
- keep working for the rest of our lives
No pressure, right?
I’m nowhere close to hitting all those supposed milestones the social clock says someone my age should be achieving because just like every human in the world, real life gets in the way and people change.
The younger person that I was who wanted to follow the social clock didn’t know what the 28-year-old me today knows. Life happens and it’s fine to not meet those major milestones that our culture/society says we should meet by a certain age.
So, what helped me make peace with realizing I wasn’t going to hit those milestones on the social clock “on time?” First, understanding that I wouldn’t ever accomplish those milestones but that I would accomplish them according to the clock of my life timeline. Second, was asking myself if the milestones on the social clock were what I wanted for myself. Did I want to settle down at 28, or have kids? Last, I made peace with the fact that I might seem behind on hitting the milestones on the social clock to others, and not caring about what others think of what I do with my life because it’s my life.
No matter what stage you are in life, no matter what you’ve accomplished, or on your way to accomplishing, be proud of them and follow the clock of your timeline.
Trish types away 