Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com
Note: This was originally published in 2019 on my former website.
It’s official. In a week, I’ll be a university grad with a Bachelor’s Degree!
How do I feel?
Excited. Relived. Nervous. Ready.
I started postsecondary like thousands of others as a baby-faced, fresh out-of-high school graduate with stars in their eyes, ready to conquer the world. And yes, I still feel that way.
I’ve learned a lot during these five years, especially when it comes to my personal development.
In my first year of university, I learned how to enjoy my own company. In my second year, I learned the importance of getting more involved in my major/department. In my third year, I learned the importance of patience. In my fourth year, I learned the power of resilience. In my fifth and final year, I learned the importance of paving my own path.
Today for a moment of self-care, I took a look at the thoughts that were running in my mind. I felt like absolute crap today. I was doubting myself, comparing myself to my friends, and thinking about the timeline that I had set out for myself when I was younger. I started doubting myself, my life choices…everything.
Yes, doubts are normal to have and it’s healthy to feel the feelings that come with it. Guilt. Shame. Sadness. Anger. But what’s not healthy is to stay like that for the rest of the day, or the rest of our lives.
This year, personally, has been a mixed bag of emotions but that’s how life works– you never know what it’ll throw your way. I’ve been trying new things in my life, more specifically when it comes to my personal development. One big thing I’m developing is my portfolio in hopes of getting a paid internship next year. I’ve been interning remotely and it’s been quite the ride. I’ve done some amazing things and met some amazing people but have also made many mistakes. Luckily, I’m being mentored by a patient, caring person who wants to see me succeed.
I realized from that moment of doubt, that I’m a hard worker, a go-getter, and a tough person. I realized I come from a long line of strong people on both sides of my family. I realized I come from a family that loves me endlessly. I realized that self-care is an ongoing process, every single day.
I realized that doubt is a sign that I’m growing and becoming a better version of myself even when I don’t feel like I am.
Trish types away 